Written by Michael Shannon
Letters To My Sons.
Little stories, biographies really, are published every day. In the case of well known people they are filed and updated regularly, just waiting for the subject to die. For regular people its normally written by a family member. If the dead are fortunate; let me amend that, if they were fortunate they wouldn’t dead would they?
I’ve been reading obits for decades. The good ones are like tiny books with a life compressed to less than five hundred words. Ernest Hemingway spent his writing life paring away superfluous language in his books, but not even he wrote obituaries.
My brother, mother and I have all written them for family members trying to find the essence of a person we knew as well as or better than anyone. When you cook certain things you must reduce the sauce, boiling away the excess in order to maximize the flavor. Same here. How to compress a life into 500 words. You must leave out the sinews of a life, the hard time, until only a husk remains like the faint scent of perfume left on your mothers clothes.
An entire life reduced to a 3 x 5 card. How very sad. An obituary should be, well, actually I don’t know what it should be but I know a good one when I see it.
In days past your local newspapers took care to inform its readers of the passing of people you almost certainly knew giving you the chance to say goodby if only in your mind. Not so anymore. The papers are dead too. Their obituaries were never written. They are as gone as the illuminated parchment written on by Geoffrey Chaucer.
Take Bud, he died at 95 and was quoted by his family as saying “I was a pilot with the Flying Tigers in China during World War II and I’m ready to climb back into my old P-40 Warhawk and fly away to my wife Betty.” And so he did. There is a man I wish I had known. File Under Grief*
In the year 2000 I ran into my dad’s cousin, William “Bill” Clarke Marriott in the Santa Maria Library. The meeting was quite by chance, as I hadn’t seen him since I was a teen. He recognized me because I had grown old enough to look like my father. We sat down on a bench a talked a while about family. Bill was the last of my grandmothers sister Gannis’s family and was in his late seventies. We spoke of family things, lamenting as people do the drifting apart with each succeeding generation.
It became a casually drifting conversation with no particular subject. Nattering my wife would call it. I told him that I had some of his V-mail letters that my grandmother had saved from WWII. He began to talk of the big war in which he served in the California National Guard, the old 40th Division. He said they had gone to Hawai’i from Camp San Luis Obispo, then Guadalcanal and on to New Britain in the island hopping campaign up the eastern Pacific.. Now I’ve been to the New Britain area and you must believe that its one of the nastiest places on earth. It rains constantly, all the insects in the world live there, smells terrible and is hotter than the shades in Hades. Bill fought a war there in the most appalling conditions imaginable. Horrible. He really didn’t dwell on the conditions though, what he remembered most were the soldiers he served with, boys he called them, for that they certainly were. In all wars, those that carry the burden are always just kids and thats what what broke this old man’s heart. He said, “They were just kids, kids, Mike and they died alone in that awful, awful place.” He began to cry, a 78 year old man crying for the forgotten boys of his youth. An obituary. File under Grief.
A few years ago we drove up California Highway 4 towards Ebbets Pass. We stopped for a little break just below the tree line to stretch and walk. The path we followed wound between enormous, flat, granite slabs, sprinkled with boulders and stunted pines filtered in amongst the deer brush. The little trail wound its way down the mountain toward the mosquito lakes and as I passed a pile of small stones I noticed a corner of a small plastic bag peeking from under and thinking it was just litter I pulled it out. It was weatherworn and the plastic was dry but something was inside so I opened it. It held a folded piece of paper and some dried Jacob’s Ladder, the beautiful sky blue, five petal flower with the golden center that grows in the high Sierra Alpine zone. Opening the folded paper, curious to see what was written on it, I was stunned to see that it was a letter from a father to his daughter who must have died on this same road. I felt as if I was intruding; intruding on a man’s grief for his child expressed in this oh so private way. The way you feel when alone in an old chapel haunted by the ghosts of those who have gone before. It was a stunning experience. The letter was too personal to finish. Carefully folded into its envelope it slid easily under its little cairn again and I literally tiptoed away. It seemed a sacrilege. An obituary. File under Grief.
From 1924 to 1954 my grandparents lived in a little farmhouse at the foot of Shannon Hill, where the old highway came down from the Williams ranch. Its now El Campo Road but when dad was young it was California Highway one, the main road from Los Angeles to San Francisco. As with all the old highways, it was two lanes with no shoulders. In those days it had no guardrails just a white painted wooden fence near the left turn at the bottom of the hill. Today the road turns to the right at the bottom but then it went left in a a tight turn along the base of the ridge as the road went toward Costa’s and town. It’s pretty steep and would have seemed more so in the years in which most cars had mechanical brakes and not the modern hydraulic type. Mechanical brakes had to be adjusted so that each wheel had the same pressure applied to the brake drum. Out of adjustment, one front wheel could brake harder than the other, combine this with wet roads and you had a recipe for disaster. This is exactly what happened on March fourth 1927. In the preceding four weeks there had been four accidents at the foot of the hill with cars going off the road and into the creek just past the bridge to my grandparents place. Each time my grandfather and my father had to go down into the creek and help the victims out of their wrecked cars and drive them into town to the doctor.

California Highway one at the turn.
1927 was one of the wettest years on record with just under 30 inches of rain by the first of March and much more to come. Rural schools were often closed because parents could not get their kids to school. The previous month, Santa Manuela school was closed for a week. The families in the upper Lopez and Arroyo creek watersheds were isolated by the overflowing creeks. The Porter Ramch house out Huasna way was now an Island, Becketts Lake was full and overflowing.
On evening of the fourth, just at dusk, dad heard the telltale shuddering sound of locked up wheels bouncing, pounding and chirping across the concrete and then a brief silence followed by a drawn out crash as the car missed the turn and went tumbling into Shannon creek. He and my grandfather ran from the house to see the beam of a single headlight probing the evening shade; a car was in the ditch. Wading into the muddy water, pushing aside the brush they found a car, upside down, the male driver moaning softly on the creek bank, the woman pinned beneath the roof. My grandfather rocked the car back and forth so my dad could free her. He then climbed, slipping and sliding in the mud, up the bank with the limp body of the young woman in his arms. They placed the couple gently down. The poor woman, clothes torn, missing a shoe, was dead. She was Dolores “Dee Dee” Tudder, a girl really, just 22. She was on her honeymoon. An obituary. File under Grief.
My grandfather, John William “Jack” Shannon died on November 4th, 1976. He was 96 years old and his body was simply worn out from a long life. He was a hard, hard worker and had lived his life to the fullest. He was admitted to the convalescent hospital with renal failure on the afternoon of November 3rd. My dad was with him, as he had been all of his life, 64 years his son. When his parents were old, he took care of them as he took care of us. My grandfathers was dying from the poison in his system and was in acute distress. My dad had to leave him there knowing he might not live the night. My grandfather begged to be taken home. He said “Son, please, please don’t leave me here. I don’t want to die here.” Dad had no choice. He couldn’t take him home, he had to leave him. My grandfather died that night, alone. Imagine having to live with that. An obituary Memories of my family, other peoples lives, fade with time and the Obit. File it under Grief.

Co C, “Saltillo Boys” 4th North Carolina Regiment, 1861 ©
Nelson P Hooper was from Iredell County, North Carolina. He was a soldier in Company C, 4th Infantry Regiment during the war between the states. He was one of three sons of Willis Hooper and his wife Catherine. All three boys answered the call in 1861 and marched off to the fight. Nelson left his young and pregnant wife, Mary Lucinda behind in North Carolina and went off “To see the Elephant.”
June the 8th, 1862
Dear Wife,
i take the present opportunity to write to you and to let you know that i am sick and the doctor says i have the fever The fever the reason i have not rote be fore now i am able to rite received a letter from you this morning and am glad to hear you are well and hearty i received your likeness and was hiley pleased to liked to see your self You rote to me if there was any chance for you to come and see me Theirs no chance to see me at the present Dont send me any thing to me ifn you have a chance for i am not eat it and dont send me any clothing aplenty to do me now
Tell father to come and see me for i want to see him very bad Tell him to come very soon and i will tell him all about mccamey hooper and how he was put away rite soon to me let me know how you all are Nothing more at present
only i remain youre afectionate husband tell death do us part N P Hooper Mary L Hooper
Exactly as he wrote it from his bed in a Richmond Hospital. He and his brother had fought against the Yankee army in the brutal seven days battles, sometime called the peninsular campaign. His younger brother McKamie Hooper had been killed at Seven Pines in one of the most horrific battles of the war. The 4th suffered terribly, if thats the correct word, 389 casualties at Casey’s Redoubt, just over 50% of of the regiment. Nelson and McKamie were in the same company, the Saltillo Boys.” McKamie died next to Nelson on the battlefield. Nelsons older brother John T Hooper had been killed the previous year at Manassas, Virginia. His father, Willis would lose all three of his young boys, 22, 24 and 26 to the meat grinder of the Civil War. Just five days later, after the letter was posted, Nelson died of the Gastro-Intestinal disease, Typhoid. The diseases, Typhoid, Pneumonia, Dysentery and Malaria accounted for two-thirds of the civil war dead. He left Mary, who was two months pregnant behind. The baby, who was born in November of that year, a little girl, was Lavance “Vancey” Hooper, my great grandmother.
Memories of my family, other peoples lives, fade with time and the Obit, Oh well, just File it under Grief.

Sarah Lavance “Vancey” Hooper Hall, 1893 Likely her wedding photo. Family Photo ©
I was with my dad. We had come into town to do some grocery shopping at the Williams Brothers Market on the corner of Elm and Grand. I always thought those were slightly suspicious names for the streets. There were no Elm trees, in fact most of the old, native Scrub Oak had been bulldozed in order to build houses, the joke being “they killed the trees and then named the streets after them.” Walnut, Ash, Cedar and Poplar to name a few.
The market was a killer too. It had put the final nail in the coffin of the old town where you could buy anything you needed in that one long block of Branch St. The last of the three old groceries were out of business, now you had to drive from here to there to get things done which is what we were doing.
We carried the bags of groceries, stuffed into paper bags with the stores logo printed on them and propped them in a corner of the old pickup bed, my dad never had a new one you know. He could, but never saw the need. Drive ’em ’til they wore out and buy another, used, and with cash money too. One of his best friends Burt Cattior, a superb mechanic who could diagnose engine trouble over the phone could keep them going ’til the wheels fell off.
We hoisted ourselves up on the bench seat, it’s brown vinyl scratched an worn by the dogs, old Crescent wrenches and the detritus common to old trucks used as much for storage as for driving. Dad twisted the key and was about to kick the starter when we noticed a woman hustling across the paring lot waving her arms, headed straight for us. Dad waited, it was obviously someone he knew. She walked around to the drivers door and put her hand on his arm a surprisingly intimate gesture and said, “Hello George.”
He smiled and said “Irene, It’s good to see you.”
You could see that they knew each other well, in the way that old friends do. Lifetime familiarity and care.
She spoke again, “George, I have Francis in the car, would you like to come over and see him?”
My dad pushed open the door with its characteristic scrape and squeak and followed Irene towards a parking spot three rows away where there was a Ford Country Squire station wagon, the minivan of it’s day. I could see it was kid used, a little faded, the back windows bearing the smudges of dirty hands sticky with candy and other unidentified evidence that kids leave behind like the slime that follows the snail.
Walking around to the passenger door, bending over slightly looking in at the man in the front seat and smiling. You could see Dad speaking. After a moment he stood, straining, then arched his back as he looked heavenward. He stood for a moment or two then bent and touched the woman on the shoulder speaking directly to her. He then touched her lightly on the shoulder. Men didn’t hug women in those days but the pat was just as real and conveyed the same strength of emotion.
They stepped apart, she to her car door, he walking slowly back to the truck, looking at the ground. He opened the door, slid into the seat and sat there, very, very still, hands on the wheel, his forehead almost resting on it. I could see tears rolling. He finally pulled back his head and tried to stifle a sob, strangled in the way people do who try and hide emotion. He looked over at me, wiping the moisture from his face with the sleeve of his old red and brown Pendelton shirt. He said nothing.
I was shaken, this was not how my father acted, he never cried, ever. He lived in a time when men kept their emotions in check and he was a master at it.
I asked, “Daddy, what’s wrong.”
I hadn’t called name by that name in a decade but the episode was frightening and it gave me a little comfort. Something had upset him.
He paused briefly and then replied, “Mike, Francis didn’t even know who I was. His mind is gone.”
My dad was 58 and he’d endured his own tragedies for certain but something about this one pierced his heart. Again, File under Grief.
*The old New York Post had a prepared obituary file labeled, Grief. Pete Hamill
Michael Shannon is a World Citizen, Surfer, Sailor, Teacher, Builder and Story Teller. He lives in Arroyo Grande, California, USA. He writes for his children.
E-Mail: Michaelshannonstable@Gmail.com



