[PHOENIX] Governor Doug Ducey in a hastily organized press conference announced today that the state of Arizona has sold itself to Canada. Mired in serious debt, high unemployment and in the midst of a statewide teacher strike the governor said, “We were left with no good choices in solving these problems.” He further stated that “No state has ever declared bankruptcy before and we didn’t want to be the first to do so.”
We’ve had discussions with Canada’s Justin Trudeau for several months and yesterday we came to an agreement for Canada to acquire all of Arizona’s assets. State services will be jointly administered by the Arizona’s elected representatives and a transitional team appointed by the Canadian government.
“This will be great for us,” said the Governor, “Universal health care, an outstanding educational system and immediate Canadian citizenship for all residents of Arizona.”The $625,000,000,000 billion price tag will inject must needed financial stability in a state teetering on the edge of failure, ‘ said governor Ducey. The governor thinks that being the 11th province of Canada will benefit all the citizens of the great state of Arizona.
In a late night tweet, President Trump blasted Ducey and Arizona as a “Loser governor and a loser state. Bad immigrants, gangs, the worst, believe me. Good riddance to bad rubbish. MORE money for the other states, McCain gone, Jeff Flake gone. Canada, VERY bad country, Justin Trudeau, terrible leader. GOOD deal for AMERICA.” MAGA!!!!”