Written by: The Science Department and Professor William E. Lye

California Industrial Technology University (CalTech) and the Massachusetts Institution of Technocrats (MIT) announce a new joint study on the cumulative effects of giant windmill farms on the earths rotational rate

Exhausting study over the last two decades indicate, with the advances in technology and the growth of individual wheels and the advent of massive wind farms the rotational energy of the spinning blades has caused, just like a ships screws or an aircrafts propeller an increase in the earths rate of spin by a factor of .0007%. The greatest problems, or fear of the science communities study is twofold. One the increase velocity of the earths spin is quite likely over time to throw the earth out of its stationary orbit and farther from the sun which will cause cooler temperatures, reduced crop yield and a new ice age.

Secondly the daily destruction of the air caused by the slicing and crushing effect of the blades will cause decay of the atmosphere which will reduce the available oxygen necessary for humans and other life on the planet. The quantities of oxygen will be reduced, causing Air Famines around the globe.

The increased rate of spin could also cause gravity to begin losing its grip with the likelihood of some lighter objects flying of into space. Humans, individually may at first notice some weight loss which the study has determined will be followed by a levitational force that will begin launching the lighter species of them into space.

Unless these scientific studies are met with legislative mitigation, over time the earth will go spinning off into the cosmos never to be seen again. The solar winds will gradually increase the rate of spin until the planet will simply disintegrate.

Added to the Presidential commission on alternative energy’s concerns over the windmills destruction of the “Clean Coal” industry and the wholesale slaughter of migratory birds especially the Bald Eagle our country’s symbol this report bodes ill for the future of the windmill industry. Noise pollution will increase causing epidemics of deafness in countries who embrace this destructive technology.

Aggressive political manuvering by nations looking for land where people can hear will inevitably cause military conflict with the have-not nations invading the haves in order to exploit “Peace and Quiet.”

The scientists of the two universities recommend the wholesale dismantling of windmills as soon as possible to forestall this calamity. They urge you to call or write your congressman or Senator, particullarly Senator Mike Reed (R.Utah) who is the chairman of the Energy and Natural Resources Committee and Ted Cruz (R.Texas) Committee chair on Commerce, Science, & Transportation. Cruz in particular hates the cold and would be permanently discomfited by the resultant plunge in the mercury.

CC; The White House, Washington City DC.